BVR Episode 2!!! Oh, Wait...

Due to some rookie mistakes on my part during the filming of the second BVR episode, the project had to be scrapped because of unusable footage and some audio problems. Fear not though, for we're not giving up on the idea as a whole: BVR will be back*, much like Schwarzenegger in T2 (Can you tell we're on a Terminator kick around here?). Speaking of which...

• Terminator 5 has just been greenlit due to some well-received early footage from Terminator: Salvation. I guess John Connor was lying to us when he said "this war ends tonight" in the trailer, because what's going to happen in T5 if that proves true? In related news, Christian Bale recently underwent successful trachael surgery in order to keep his now-trademarked "Bat-Voice" going in every project he ever does from this point on.

• Rob Zombie's sequel to his remake of Halloween has been given the go-ahead, and it's called H2. Yes, that's it. Not Halloween 2, and it's not a remake of that 1981 movie. This one just joins letters and numbers together ala Se7en and P2 to form one of the laziest titles we've seen in a while. Spoiler alert - Michael is her brother.

• Guess what they're rebooting now? The Phantom, the 1996 Billy Zane classic, is getting the update treatment. Apparently this movie will have nothing to do with its predecessor and is taking the en vouge "dark beginnings" storyline. I'm sending out a plea to anyone who reads this - let's start a petition to get Zane back in that purple costume. (That movie actually holds up pretty well if you watch it today. Which I would highly recommend.)

• Also in the remake queue is The Crow. I've never seen it, but I'd venture a guess that it's not actually about a crow. Other movies they could make about animals? Cybernetic emu, and flesh-eating sheep. Oh, wait...

• In Twilight news (ugh...), they hired the guy who directed The Golden Compass to direct the Twilight sequel New Moon, set for release in November '09. Way to take this seriously, Summit Entertainment. My definition of success is Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman fighting talking bears and god-killing children. Hot Topic vampire clothes are on sale, now with a free side of atheism.

• In more manly news, The Expendables is coming! Stallone's sure-to-be masterwork (he's writing, directing, and starring) is picking up steam as it heads for production. So far in the cast, we've got Sly himself, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Jason Statham, and...Randy Couture? Who the hell is that? Oh, yeah - a UFC fighter. That sport where sweaty, shirtless dudes T-bag each other into submission. Stallone, I'm disappointed. This was your shot to pull Arnold out of the political sphere and back into action where he belongs (not that Arnie's not a good governor, but you know). Oh, what could have been...

• I had a pretty funny voiced-over trailer for Seven Pounds worked up, but the video file is corrupted. Technology is not my friend right now. Hopefully if I can un-corrupt it (is such a thing possible? I'm about to find out), then I can get it posted somewhere soon.

• It's Alice! Word from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland camp comes in today that the movie is going to feature live action, performance capture, AND stop motion technology. Alan Rickman says his face is going to be digitally inserted onto a model of a caterpillar, and he reveals the Helena Bonham Carter (The Red Queen)'s head will be three times its normal size on top of a normal body.
  

• And I'm sure everyone has heard about this already, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Eddie Murphy has been cast as The Riddler and Shia LaBeouf is going to be Robin in the upcoming sequel to The Dark Knight. This report comes straight from The Sun, the uber-reliable British tabloid that proves with this announcement that they have moved from "ridiculous" to "ludicrous" reporting. I guess they missed the memo that a sequel to The Dark Knight hasn't even been confirmed yet (let alone a script written and actors cast), and Warner Brothers is still in talks with Nolan on if he'll return or not. Other people who have supposedly been "cast" in this movie? Johnny Depp as The Riddler, Phillip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin, and - my favorite - Cher, Angelina Jolie, and Rachel Weisz as Catwoman. You might as well start making up your own rumors at this point, readers, because it's tough to get any more outlandish than Eddie Murphy as the Riddler.

*I'm not linking to my sources this time, because these were all things I was planning on covering in video form so I didn't bookmark them and I'm too lazy to go back and find them now. You'll just have to trust me. And I'd like to thank Tyler Branz, editor of The Solar Sentinel, for co-writing the content of this post for Ben's Video Roundup. We'll get them next time, Gadget.