Crank 2: High Voltage Teaser Trailer!

All right kids, this is what you've been waiting for. I'm going to say right now that this trailer is definitely not appropriate for children or people who are easily offended by graphic language, violence, nudity, or high amounts of electricity. If any of that sounds good to you, check this trailer out below.



Crank 2: High Voltage brings Jason Statham back to the screen as Chev Chelios, the hitman who survives a fall from a helicopter at the end of the first Crank movie. This time around, a Chinese mobster replaces his heart with a battery that needs continuous jolts of energy to stay operational. Needless to say, I'm seriously looking forward to April.

BVR Episode 2!!! Oh, Wait...

Due to some rookie mistakes on my part during the filming of the second BVR episode, the project had to be scrapped because of unusable footage and some audio problems. Fear not though, for we're not giving up on the idea as a whole: BVR will be back*, much like Schwarzenegger in T2 (Can you tell we're on a Terminator kick around here?). Speaking of which...

• Terminator 5 has just been greenlit due to some well-received early footage from Terminator: Salvation. I guess John Connor was lying to us when he said "this war ends tonight" in the trailer, because what's going to happen in T5 if that proves true? In related news, Christian Bale recently underwent successful trachael surgery in order to keep his now-trademarked "Bat-Voice" going in every project he ever does from this point on.

• Rob Zombie's sequel to his remake of Halloween has been given the go-ahead, and it's called H2. Yes, that's it. Not Halloween 2, and it's not a remake of that 1981 movie. This one just joins letters and numbers together ala Se7en and P2 to form one of the laziest titles we've seen in a while. Spoiler alert - Michael is her brother.

• Guess what they're rebooting now? The Phantom, the 1996 Billy Zane classic, is getting the update treatment. Apparently this movie will have nothing to do with its predecessor and is taking the en vouge "dark beginnings" storyline. I'm sending out a plea to anyone who reads this - let's start a petition to get Zane back in that purple costume. (That movie actually holds up pretty well if you watch it today. Which I would highly recommend.)

• Also in the remake queue is The Crow. I've never seen it, but I'd venture a guess that it's not actually about a crow. Other movies they could make about animals? Cybernetic emu, and flesh-eating sheep. Oh, wait...

• In Twilight news (ugh...), they hired the guy who directed The Golden Compass to direct the Twilight sequel New Moon, set for release in November '09. Way to take this seriously, Summit Entertainment. My definition of success is Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman fighting talking bears and god-killing children. Hot Topic vampire clothes are on sale, now with a free side of atheism.

• In more manly news, The Expendables is coming! Stallone's sure-to-be masterwork (he's writing, directing, and starring) is picking up steam as it heads for production. So far in the cast, we've got Sly himself, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Jason Statham, and...Randy Couture? Who the hell is that? Oh, yeah - a UFC fighter. That sport where sweaty, shirtless dudes T-bag each other into submission. Stallone, I'm disappointed. This was your shot to pull Arnold out of the political sphere and back into action where he belongs (not that Arnie's not a good governor, but you know). Oh, what could have been...

• I had a pretty funny voiced-over trailer for Seven Pounds worked up, but the video file is corrupted. Technology is not my friend right now. Hopefully if I can un-corrupt it (is such a thing possible? I'm about to find out), then I can get it posted somewhere soon.

• It's Alice! Word from the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland camp comes in today that the movie is going to feature live action, performance capture, AND stop motion technology. Alan Rickman says his face is going to be digitally inserted onto a model of a caterpillar, and he reveals the Helena Bonham Carter (The Red Queen)'s head will be three times its normal size on top of a normal body.
  

• And I'm sure everyone has heard about this already, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Eddie Murphy has been cast as The Riddler and Shia LaBeouf is going to be Robin in the upcoming sequel to The Dark Knight. This report comes straight from The Sun, the uber-reliable British tabloid that proves with this announcement that they have moved from "ridiculous" to "ludicrous" reporting. I guess they missed the memo that a sequel to The Dark Knight hasn't even been confirmed yet (let alone a script written and actors cast), and Warner Brothers is still in talks with Nolan on if he'll return or not. Other people who have supposedly been "cast" in this movie? Johnny Depp as The Riddler, Phillip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin, and - my favorite - Cher, Angelina Jolie, and Rachel Weisz as Catwoman. You might as well start making up your own rumors at this point, readers, because it's tough to get any more outlandish than Eddie Murphy as the Riddler.

*I'm not linking to my sources this time, because these were all things I was planning on covering in video form so I didn't bookmark them and I'm too lazy to go back and find them now. You'll just have to trust me. And I'd like to thank Tyler Branz, editor of The Solar Sentinel, for co-writing the content of this post for Ben's Video Roundup. We'll get them next time, Gadget.

Hot Tub Time Machine Update!

Wow, I had almost forgotten about this movie. Glad it's getting a little love.

The co-writers and director of Sex Drive, a funny Superbad-esque film that came out back in October, are taking over and are set to co-direct HTTM. It's being written by first-time screenwriter Jason Heald (previously referred to as "Josh Heald"), and in case you need a little reminder, here's the logline:

"Hot Tub" follows a group of guys, adults who used to be cads back in their heyday, who, after a night of vodka and Red Bulls in a hot tub, travel back in time and set out to rediscover their "mojo."

Sounds pretty awesome. Keep this project rolling.

Jurassic Park 4 Is Not Happening

For those of you who are fans of the JP franchise, I've got some bad news. It appears that Michael Crichton's death last month had a great deal of influence when it comes to continuing the series.

"You know, when Crichton passed away, I kinda felt maybe that's it. Maybe that's a sign we don't mess with it." - Producer Kathleen Kennedy

The first movie's success has been well documented, and while The Lost World wasn't as good, it still was pretty enjoyable. And I'll be right alongside you in saying that Jurassic Park 3 sucked terribly, but call me an optimist - I was kind of looking forward to a fourth entry. Recent talks featured ideas of dinosaurs being outfitted with weapons for governmental attack purposes, and the return of Dr. Ellie Satler (Laura Dern's character) led me to believe that Sam Neill and the honorable Jeff Goldblum might come back also. I guess it's for the best that this isn't going to happen. But maybe in a few years...

Fables Coming To ABC

Fables, an ongoing comic series created by Bill Willingham, has been picked up for development by ABC television.

The comic, which features all of the fairy tale characters (The Big Bad Wolf, Snow White, etc) living together in New York City after they escaped from their home worlds, has been running since 2002 and shows no signs of slowing down. Incidentally, it's one of the few comics that I read and I can't recommend it highly enough. Check it out at a library if you have to, but do whatever you can to get your hands on a copy of this series. The first issue is free online here.

As far as the news of its new television counterpart - I was talking with Jared (who got me hooked on Fables) and we agree that the source material is best adapted into a long form TV series rather than trying to squeeze things into a film. That's not to say that after a few years of running on ABC, a movie spin off couldn't happen. All I have to say is I hope the creators of this show do the comic justice. If done correctly, this could easily be one of the coolest shows on TV.

Roundup 12/4

I know it's been a while since I've updated this page. Here's what you need to know.

• As the Hollywood remake train continues to rape and pillage memories of good films, Romancing The Stone becomes the next victim. The original was really awesome - a treasure hunting adventure through the jungle starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner when she was still hot. Check that out if you get a free couple hours.

• Jay Baruchel (the serious soldier in Tropic Thunder) is in talks to star in a live action version of The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Disney's famous animated segment from Fantasia. Baruchel would play Mickey Mouse's character, while (get this) Nicolas Cage would play the part of the mean old wizard, this time looking for an apprentice in modern day New York. National Treasure director Jon Turtletaub will direct. Sounds interesting, and I actually think that casting with Nic Cage is spot on.

• There's a new Tarzan movie on the horizon, but it's not animated and I don't think Phil Collins has anything to do with it. This time around, they're losing the "raised by apes origin story for a 1930's set-romp" featuring a romantic subplot. This is a real quote from the article: "Think Pirates of the Carribean with buffed-and-tanned actors flying through the jungle and sprinting up trees, parkour style." I can't take this seriously at all. There's got to be a lot of precaution taken to avoid making this one of the most stupid films of the decade.

• Supposedly, there's a treatment of Speed 3 making its way through Hollywood. Nothing has been greenlit yet, but there's talk that Keanu could come back for this one after (wisely) sitting out the disastrous Speed 2: Cruise Control. If they get Keanu back and keep the Speed-related subtitles, I'm totally down with this.

• For the Shia fans out there, LaBeouf has signed on to star in the adaptation of John Grisham's (read: probably boring court stuff) upcoming book, The Associate. Sounds like pretty standard Grisham from the plot description - brilliant law student, seedy firms, guy with a secret past, blah blah blah.

• Ben Stiller is interested in Zoolander 2. Honestly, this movie is still being quoted eight years after it's release, so that probably means it's warranted this time. Whether or not it'll actually happen is a different story. ("How are we going to teach kids how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?")

• Since Neveldine/Taylor left Jonah Hex, Punisher: War Zone and Green Street Hooligans director Lexi Alexander has tossed her hat into the ring as a possible replacement. I think she'd be great - Green Street Hooligans was awesome, even if Punisher looks painfully bad. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt with Jonah Hex.

• In the latest case of people stealing our ideas, the official title for the sequel to District B13 has been released - District B13: Ultimatum. David Belle and Cyril Raffaelli (the stars of the first one) are coming back, and French action guru Luc Besson is writing the script (which should just include a lot of sweet parkour stuff). Count me in.

• Speaking of sequels, Hancock 2 is on the way. According to Will Smith, there are many unexplored characters in the Hancock universe that haven't been explored yet and we'll "definitely" be seeing a sequel in the next few years. I kind of liked the "twist" in the first one, but as is the case the most of these, I really don't think a sequel is necessary. Although it is Will Smith, so you've got to give him a little credit that he knows what he's doing. The guy is by far the most bankable actor working in Hollywood today.
  

The Hobbit Begins Shooting in 2010

Guillermo del Toro's The Hobbit will begin shooting in 2010, and though most productions shoot for about three or four months, this shoot will last an astounding 370 days.

Granted, the movie will eventually be split into two films (and probably released a year apart), but this is still a ridiculously long shoot. Those 370 days are just shooting days, not to mention the post-production work that is involved with a project of this nature.

Guillermo also hinted at some of his plans for mixing animatronics and CGI effects for Smaug the dragon and some of the other creatures featured in the story. Unlike his puppet-esque work from Hellboy II, this will rely more on computer work to create a new type of creation that we've never seen before on camera. He sounds pretty psyched about it, and if Peter Jackson's not directing this movie, I can't think of anyone else that is a better fit.

Ben's Video Roundup 11/23

Roundup 11/23 from Ben Pearson on Vimeo.

Jonah Hex Needs New Director

Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the guys who created Crank, have dropped out of the Jonah Hex project with Warner Brothers. Jonah Hex, a cowboy gunslinger comic book character, was set to hit the big screen with these guys writing and directing and Josh Brolin in talks to star, but things have fallen apart because of creative differences with the studio.

This kind of sucks, because (needless to say) I really like these guys and it would have been awesome to see their take on a western, no matter how supernatural it got. Word is that Brolin is still attached to the project, but the studio is quickly trying to find replacements for Neveldine/Taylor.

Roundup 11/13

I'm back from the DC trip, so we've got some catching up to do. Giddy up!

• Ridley Scott is directing a movie based on the board game Monopoly. Conflicting quotes state he wants to give the movie a futuristic look (ala his own Blade Runner) or make a family oriented humor-based comedy. Either way, I'm almost positive it's going to be absolutely awful.

• It's well known that I love Will Smith (as I'm sure 95% of America does), but this one is just a bad idea. His 10-year-old son Jaden (Pursuit of Happyness) is starring in a remake of The Karate Kid. The story will be moved from America to Beijing but keep many of the same story elements, which makes it even worse. Not only are they remaking it, but they're giving it to the Chinese? Come on...

• Beyonce apparently had a meeting with some execs at Warner Brothers to talk about being Wonder Woman in the long-developing movie that can never seem to get off the ground. Honestly, I could care less about this project because Wonder Woman has never been of any particular interest to me personally, but I'm sure a lot of younger girls would find Beyonce's casting empowering and inspirational. The movie will probably suck, but what can you do?

• Marvel has officially announced a director for The First Avenger: Captain America: Joe Johnston, the director of one of my favorite movies, The Rocketeer. I think this is a great choice, and Kevin Feige (big time exec at Marvel Studios) mirrors my confidence in him with this quote. "This is a guy who designed the vehicles for Star Wars, who storyboarded the convoy action sequence for Raiders of the Lost Ark. From Rocketeer to October Sky to The Wolfman, you can look at pieces of his movies and see how they lead to this one."

• Dear Lord - it's happened. The universe is going to collapse onto itself. Aside from the upcoming Wayans production Dance Flick (which follows in the shoes of Epic Movie, Date Movie, Disaster Movie, etc), there is a film in production called Not Another Not Another Movie. It's a spoof...on spoof movies. It stars Chevy Chase (just retire already), Burt Reynolds (he's still alive?), and Vinnie Jones (why would you do this? They can't possibly be paying you enough), and the plot makes me want to cry. It's hard to believe crap like this is still being shoveled into theaters, but ONLY YOU can stop the studios by not seeing these movies in any context, whether that be in theaters, DVD, or HBO (ahem...Joe).

• I was going to save this spot for the link where you can watch Midnight Meat Train for free online, but it's been taken down. What I DID find, however, is something much more to your liking - a link for Leprechaun 5: In The Hood starring Warwick Davis, Coolio, and Ice-T. I want to say I saw Back 2 Da Hood, but missed this one. Let me know what you think if you actually take the time to watch this.
  

This Sounds AWESOME

"I've got at least one more in me."

I'm leaving for DC for like five or six days, so the site will be a little slow for a while, but I couldn't resist making this my last post before I hit the road.

Sylvester Stallone will write, direct, and star in a movie called The Expendables, co-starring (are you ready for this?) Jet Li and Jason Statham.

The film follows a group of "expendable" mercenaries trying to take down a South American dictator and free the oppressed population. Filming starts in February, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Universal Soldier 3

The Muscles from Brussells, Jean Claude Van Damme himself, is coming back for a third (technically fifth) entry into the Universal Soldier series.

But for what kind of role? He says he'll only be acting with the project for 10 days, which is a remarkably short time for a lead but slightly longer than just a cameo. Timecop director Peter Hyams will be the director of photography for the movie, and no one is sure whether it's getting a theatrical release or going straight to DVD.

Unfortunately, Dolph Lundgren will not make an appearance. Oh, and in case you're wondering about the story - fear not. It's depth can only be imagined after this convincing quote. Van Damme says "it has to do with something in the past."

Roundup 11/4

I hope you went out and voted today - I know I did. Wait, you thought I was talking about the National Election? I meant for the Branzy Awards. You better vote now, because the polls for this election are closing in like a week. Get your votes in (and hopefully you voted in the National Election as well). On with it!

• A prequel to Joe Carnahan's Smokin' Aces has been greenlit. No word on whether or not it will be direct-to-DVD. I don't think anyone really cares, anyway.

• Universal has won the rights to a movie adaptation of another yet-to-be-released property, this time a video game (huh?). The game will be a version of the epic poem "Dante's Inferno." I can't imagine that the game will be good (unless it's like Grand Theft Auto in hell), and the movie can't be much better. But there was a huge bidding war among the studios, so I guess Universal knows something we don't.

• Joaquin Phoenix, known for his roles in Gladiator and Walk The Line, has retired from acting in favor of his newfound music career. Let me know how that turns out for you, buddy.

• The Farrelly Brothers (who used to direct funny stuff like Dumb and Dumber but now direct crap like The Heartbreak Kid) have announced that they are going to make a Three Stooges movie set in current times. I guess this has been in the works for upwards of five years now, but this can't be a good idea.

• Road to Perdition is one of those movies that nobody really talks about, but was pretty solid. Solid enough for two sequels, though? The co-writer of the original source material (a comic book) has signed on to write and direct two movie sequels, concentrating on the character of Tom Hanks' son. The films will be called Road to Purgatory and Road to Paradise.

• And in my favorite news of the day, Charlize Theron and Tom Cruise will be working together for a thriller called The Tourist. Charlize will play an Interpol agent who uses a tourist to lure an elusive criminal out of hiding. I really enjoy both of those actors so I'm definitely interested in this project.
  

Mark Millar Talks Superman

Mark Millar (writer of the comic Wanted, among others) has been talking for a while now about how he wants to take over the Superman franchise at Warner Brothers when they get around to resurrecting those movies.

Some more details about his storyline came out today when he spoke to Empire Magazine. Millar wants an eight-hour epic, told over three films released a year apart from each other. The story would follow Kal-El's birth on Krypton a thousand years ago and "end with Superman alone on Planet Earth, the last being left on the planet, as they yellow sun turns red and starts to supernova, and he loses his powers."

Epic indeed. In semi-related news, Christopher Nolan has returned from his post-Bat vacation and has said that if they can get the story right, then he's down for a third Batman movie. Otherwise, he's a no-go. Some Warner Bros. exec has said that they won't make a decision on Superman's release date until they figure out what's going on with Batman, so needless to say - get the freakin' story right and let's get this show on the road.

Preacher is Coming To The Big Screen!

I never thought I would see this day. Preacher, the comic series that I've been hyping for a year since I read it, is finally getting it's long-discussed movie adaptation. Sam Mendes will be directing, and they don't have a writer yet.

Mendes is...an interesting choice. He directed one of my favorite movies, American Beauty, and is responsible for the upcoming DiCaprio-Winslet reuniting Revolutionary Road. Why Columbia Pictures would think that he is the man for the job remains unseen, but he must have blown them away at the pitch meeting for them to finally get this project off the ground.

Kevin Smith was once attached to a movie version, and then Robert Rodriguez and Mark Steven Johnson were in talks to direct the movie for HBO. Man, I really hope this doesn't suck. I still recommend that everyone check out the comic version before this hits theaters.

Alan Rickman? Really?

This one can still be classified as rumor, but I hear that Alan Rickman (of Die Hard and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves fame) is in talks to play the role of The Caterpillar in Burton's upcoming 3D Alice in Wonderland.

Since this is a 3D thing and there's probably going to be some motion capture involved, it'll be interesting to see how much of that technique they use and how much of the actors' real performances they keep. As far as my opinion goes, Rickman would be a fine Caterpillar. But then, so would Jack Black.

More Alice in Wonderland Updates

Christopher Lee (Lord of the Rings, Star Wars prequels) and Danny Elfman have joined the cast and crew for Tim Burton's 3D adaptation of Alice in Wonderland.

Lee's role has not been determined, but I'll let you know as soon as that information becomes available. Elfman has done music with Burton before (Big Fish, Edward Scissorhands, Batman, etc) and Lee has worked with him on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (among others), so the addition of these two continues the trend of Burton working with a tight unit (that's what she said).

This Doesn't Surprise Me

One of the strangest men alive has joined the cast of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

Crispin Glover (The Epic: Quest for Schneider, Back to the Future, Willard) has signed to play the Knave of Hearts. It's been a while since I've seen the animated version of AIW, so I don't specifically remember this character. Evidently, he steals the queen's tarts and is put on trial with Alice defending him.

The world is one step closer to harmony now that Burton and Glover are working together - I'm shocked their careers haven't crossed paths up until this point.

Cleopatra Rock Musical - in 3D

I never thought I'd be saying this, but Steven Soderbergh has just been signed to direct a rock 'n roll musical about Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt.

Soderbergh has directed some great stuff in the past (Solaris, Ocean's 11, etc), but this project sounds a little out of his league. I'm not saying that he can't pull it off, but it definitely caught me by surprise that he was the one chosen for this. Oh yeah - the budget is $30 million and it's starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and Hugh Jackman as Cleopatra and Marc Antony, respectively.

With the talent assembled here (great casting on Zeta-Jones), I'm going to call myself a fan of this project until I see something that sways me in the opposite direction. It'll be a while before this gets into production (Soderbergh has two more movies lined up before he shoots this one), but I'll keep you updated.

No More Terrence Howard

Don Cheadle will be replacing Terrence Howard as James "Rhodey" Rhodes in the upcoming Iron Man 2.

This news certainly comes as a shock to me, since I was pretty sure the Big Three (Downey, Paltrow, Howard) were signed as a unit to the sequel. Apparently there were monetary differences (among others) that drove Howard away from the movie.

I guess if there was any actor to replace him, it would be Don Cheadle (or perhaps Chiwetel Ejiofor). Those guys are always solid, so we shouldn't be expecting the worst here.

Holy Balls, I Just Realized This

All right. Brummitt and I were just talking about the news of Johnny Depp possibly making $75 million dollars for Pirates 4, and I didn't fully understand the gravity of that statement until we started talking about the numbers broken down in terms we can wrap our heads around. So for those of you who don't quite get it yet, let's take a look at what this would mean.

The average filming time for a standard Hollywood movie is three months. Let's say that Mr. Depp works every single day of those three months, for nine hours a day (which is highballing it, in all honesty. There's no way he would work nine hours straight for 90 straight days). But giving him the benefit of the doubt, here's the breakdown.

• For a three month shoot, Depp would be making an astonishing $833,333 dollars PER DAY.

• This translates to $95,593 dollars PER HOUR. Keep in mind, in 2007 the median American family was making approximately $50,000 dollars PER YEAR. In one hour, he's nearly doubled their yearly income.

• If this deal is legitimate, it would mean Depp would be banking $1,543 dollars PER MINUTE.

• Sickeningly, this breaks down into a mind-blowing $25 dollars PER SECOND. Within a mere 8 seconds, Johnny Depp will have made what the average American pulls down in a single day. Un-freaking-believable.
  

Roundup 10/9

Seems that casting rumors have been all the rage in the past week around the internets, so let's get to it.

• Kicking things off, we've got the possibility of Russell Brand (the hilarious Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall) playing Captain Jack Sparrow's brother in the recently-confirmed Pirates 4. Also in talks for the role is Borat himself, Sacha Baron Cohen. Tim Burton is rumored to be replacing series director Gore Verbinski, but Timmy's obviously got to finish Alice in Wonderland first (if it's even true that he's interested). In related news, Johnny Depp is said to be banking a record-breaking $75 million dollars for his role in the upcoming sequel. That's 75 million for ONE GUY. Incredible.
  

• Josh Brolin, recently thought to be the next Terminator in next summer's flick, has now switched genres and has reportedly signed to play western anti-hero Jonah Hex in the production directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor - the guys who wrote and directed Crank. Thomas Jane was considered, but eventually turned down by the directing duo; we'll see if Brolin actually gets confirmed here in the next couple of weeks. I wouldn't mind seeing him as Hex. He's got the gruff aspect down pretty well.

• Surprisingly, Warner Brothers wants Ryan Gosling to play Hal Jordan in the upcoming superhero blockbuster of Green Lantern. I guess they figure with all the talent they assembled with The Dark Knight, they might as well keep going for Oscar nominated actors for their superhero movies. It's seemed to work for them so far, and I know next to nothing about the Green Lantern, but Gosling is OK in my book and I'd be down for him to have a huge summer in a couple years like Robert Downey Jr. did this year.

• DC Comics President told Latino Review that they had meetings with Brandon Routh about the future of the Superman franchise and are still interested in him playing the character. He also said they are waiting on Chris Nolan to sign for the a third Batman film before they figure out the release date of the tentatively-titled Man of Steel.

That's enough of the rumors. Let's get to some confirmations.

• My girl Anne Hathaway (get off me, Branz - I saw her first) has signed to play the White Queen in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Helena Bonham Carter has been signed to play the Red Queen. While HBC seems right at home, Annie seems a little out of place here. Let's see if she can hang with the big dogs or if she'll be relegated to Get Smart 2 (which has coincidentally just been greenlit).

• Jamie Foxx (who, on a personal level, I absolutely despise but was phenomenal in Collateral) has joined Frank Darabont's Law Abiding Citizen, an awesome-sounding movie co-starring Gerard Butler. The plot follows a criminal mastermind (Foxx) who controls the city from inside his prison cell, while the assistant D.A. (Butler) stands in his way. It's being co-written by Darabont (director of The Shawshank Redemption) and Equilibrium writer Kurt Wimmer.

That's all for now. I'll have more for you soon, I'm sure. In the meantime, check out the ever-increasing post frequency over at The Solar Sentinel.

Under Siege 3 - With Aliens?

Steven Seagal, taking a break after his fantastic performance in The Onion Movie*, told MTV that there's a definite possibility of an Under Siege 3 - a film that could bring him back to theaters after years of wallowing in the direct-to-DVD market.

"I personally want it to be something more modern...in other words, I wouldn't mind if it was about something more mystical or maybe extraterrestrial in nature."

So what does that mean? Casey Rybeck is now the head chef for a space station that gets hijacked? If that's the case, I'm absolutely down.

*Here's one of the better parts of The Onion Movie, which was pretty funny and I'd recommend you checking out if you haven't yet.

George Clooney as the Lone Ranger?

This is a rumor that I almost didn't even bother writing about, but if Johnny Depp can be Tonto and Russell Crowe can play two roles in the same movie, then I guess nothing is too ridiculous to consider.

Yes, George Clooney has thrown his hat in the ring to played the masked cowboy. Remember, this comes from the boys over at Ain't It Cool News, which is only slightly more credible than The Sun. Either way, I love westerns so much that I don't think I would be disappointed if this ended up being true and we saw George saddle up next to Depp on his trusty horse, Silver. And this movie is so far from release (at least a year, if not more) that it's off my radar until we hear some more about it. Until then, keep checking back.

Russell Crowe Locks Down Two Roles - In The Same Movie

"What? Both of them? Sure - why the hell not?"

In "Wow, I seriously didn't see that coming" news, Russell Crowe has been signed to play both the Sheriff of Nottingham and Robin Hood in the upcoming Ridley Scott film Nottingham. Previously it was rumored that Christian Bale would play Robin Hood, but that had since been debunked.

A recent quote from Crowe - "[It's] one of those things where we're taking our time...You don't want to be doing Robin Hood unless you're going to be doing it really f*cking well. It's got to be the best one ever done, otherwise you should do something else."

I like his fervor. I'm a Russell Crowe fan and a Robin Hood fan, so I find this news interesting to say the least. As long as this movie turns out better than American Gangster (which in hindsight wasn't THAT bad), I'll be pleased. The movie has been delayed slightly, but filming is expected to resume when the leaves grow back in jolly old England so Sherwood Forest can have that "full" look to it instead of a bunch of scraggly branches.

Love Interest Cast in Sherlock Holmes

Since Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes has become the new movie that everyone has latched onto, more news came yesterday when Rachel McAdams was confirmed for Holmes' love interest, a character named Irene Adler.

I'm glad RayMac is getting back into mainstream movies again, and by that I mean "hopefully good" movies. Total hottie. It's also been reported that Jude Law has been cast as Watson instead of the previously rumored Russell Crowe. I've got no qualms with Jude Law, so I think this whole arrangement could play out nicely.

I Am Legend Prequel Given The Go-Ahead

Warner Brothers has confirmed the prequel to I Am Legend, and Will Smith will definitely return as Robert Neville. Francis Lawrence will also return as the director. The story will follow Neville's last days before and after the virus takes over New York City.

We can debate the necessity of this all you want, but it looks like it's going to happen nonetheless. I can tell you this much - if it's got Will Smith in it, I'll see it.

Roundup 9/25

I've been slacking lately, so let's get to work.

• Michael Caine told MTV that he will be starring alongside Matthew McConaughey and Scarlett Johansson in an upcoming heist film called Brilliance. I've got a soft spot for heist movies, ScarJo is hot, and I don't mind McConaughey when he's not cheesing it up in the newest chick flick, so this whole project sounds cool to me.

• We all knew that Seth Rogen was going to write The Green Hornet with his partner Even Goldberg (the duo wrote Superbad and Pineapple Express), and we also knew that he would star as the titular character. What we didn't know was who was going to direct it, but word is out. Stephen Chow, director of Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer, has signed to direct and also star as Kato, Green Hornet's Asian sidekick. Interesting choice - Chow has handled action and comedy before, so I'm sure this will be fine.

• M. Night Shyamalan is considering directing a sequel to Unbreakable. The film was originally intended to be the first in a trilogy, but after the poor marketing and weak critical response to the film after it wasn't The Sixth Sense 2, plans fell apart and Night moved on. I'm inclined to think that a sequel at this point wouldn't be so bad, especially if that was how the whole thing was supposed to go down anyway and even more so if he could lock down stars Bruce Willis and Sam Jackson to return. Come on, Night - you need another good movie, and soon. People are losing faith.

• Laughably, Nic Cage will be starring in Domenic Sena's (Gone in 60 Seconds, Swordfish) newest supernatural thriller, entitled Season of the Witch. Why is that funny? Because Cage will be playing a 14th century knight who is transporting a girl thought to be a witch who started the Black Plague. You've got to be kidding me.

• Timur Bekmambetov, director of Wanted and the Night Watch films, has been signed to direct a reimagining of Moby Dick. The studio wants to bring the stylish look of Wanted to the tale of Moby Dick, yet it's written by the guys who wrote Accepted and New York Minute. I don't know what to say, other than this probably shouldn't happen.

• In Johnny Depp overload news, Disney announced tonight at their trade show that the actor will star in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland as the Mad Hatter. No big surprise there. What IS surprising is that Depp will also play Tonto in Jerry Bruckheimer's version of The Lone Ranger! WTF, mate? Also, they all but confirmed another Pirates of the Carribean sequel, leading some to speculate that Depp has signed a multi-picture deal with the House of Mouse. Oh, and at that same show, National Treasure 3 was confirmed. Tonto, though? Really?

• "American Psycho: The Musical" has been given the greenlight for Broadway. Now THAT'S a musical I could get excited for.

• Apparently we'll have to see Quantum of Solace on November 14th without the famous "Bond, James Bond" and "shaken, not stirred" line. Seems the producers have decided to do away with those catchphrases along with the gadgetry that made the series so cheesy during the end of the Brosnan era. Whatever - Casino Royale was really good, and if the trailers are any indication, QOS should be really sweet as well, one-liners or not.
  

Sin City 2 Update

Frank Miller has a lot on his plate right now, trying to turn his new movie The Spirit into something that will please fans instead of have them in an uproar (like they were at Comic Con this summer). But at a recent press conference, the demigod of comics gave an update on Sin City 2, which has been in talks for years.

I can't talk about my projects, because I don't believe a movie is real until I see the title on the screen. There are many things that can go wrong. But I can tell you that I'm very close to begin 'Sin City 2' with Robert Rodriguez. We have to arrange a few things and we'll be back in action.

That's better than nothing. I've heard that Angelina Jolie has been approached to star this time around, and most of the cast would probably return because the storyline will weave through time in flashback mode so even the ones who died in the original would be able to make appearances. Whatever it takes to make this happen - get it done. Hopefully The Spirit (while different in tone but similar in filming style) won't anger people enough to dash Miller's future directing plans.

This Is What It's Come To

The movie will film in South Korea starting next month, marking the first time a Hollywood picture has ever filmed in that country. A writer and producer from the 1997 Chris Farley original has written the script and will direct. And contrary to my own early opinion, this is actually being considered for a theatrical release in June by Sony, who owns the distribution rights. Unbelieveable.

Affleck Gets Back Behind The Camera

As I'm sure most of you know, I thought Affleck's directorial debut, Gone Baby Gone, was pretty awesome for a first attempt. So it greatly pleases me to bring you news that Warner Brothers has hired Ben to rewrite, direct, and star in a movie called The Town, which is based on a book called Prince of Thieves (no, not that one).

The plot surrounds a thief who falls in love with the bank manager of a bank he has robbed while an FBI man is close to discovering his operation. The movie is set in Massachusetts, obviously hallowed ground for the man who owns an Oscar for co-writing Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon. Cool - sounds like that George Clooney/Jennifer Lopez joint ten years ago called Out of Sight, but hopefully better. Have faith, Affleck fans.

xXx: Diesel's Back

Vin Diesel has agreed to return to his triumphant role as Xander Cage in the xXx franchise! Rejoice! The third film in the series, titled xXx: The Return of Xander Cage, has no script attached yet, but Diesel and the director of the first film (Rob Cohen) have expressed interest in returning.

Cohen's body of work is pretty hit or miss (The Skulls vs. Stealth, for instance), and Diesel took a big hit with the recent suckage of Babylon A.D. You can't really blame them for making another one of these movies though - if we're stupid enough to pay money to see it, then they deserve our hard earned cash. If we don't see it, maybe that'll be enough to put an end to this series once and for all. For now, I'll leave you with the Vin Diesel soundboard.

Roundup 9/10

You know what time it is.

• After a lackluster summer, 20th Century Fox is considering making some changes to their lineup in the coming years. Properties they're thinking about adding? More X-Men spin-offs, including a possible Deadpool film with Ryan Reynolds. Also, they mention a reinvention of the Daredevil franchise. Jason Statham has expressed interest in the character, but the guys over at Slashfilm think that the property would be better as a show on HBO. I'm actually down for either one.

• DJ Caruso has expressed interest in directing Marvel's Thor movie, and has apparently had a few meetings with the studio about it. There isn't a script yet, but I'll keep you updated on any further announcements. Speaking of Caruso, he also said that Alicia Keys is up for the role of Agent 355 in his Y: The Last Man trilogy because she looked the part, but he'd have to see if she could hold her own on the acting end of things before he would actually cast her.
  

• The Wachowski's could possibly helm the Wonder Woman movie that will inevitably be greenlit by DC in a couple of years.

• As far as we know, Arnold Schwarzenegger will not play any part in the upcoming Terminator film, right? Maybe not. Pictures of Arnie on the set of the movie are leading to rumors about him doing voice-over work and his face being digitally inserted onto some dude's body for the final cut of the flick, which comes out next summer. This would be a way for him to please the fans and not conflict with his gubernatorial duties by "acting" in the traditional sense. Hopefully the end result is cool rather than cheesy.

• The latest rumor on Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes pic is that Colin Farrell is the man to play Watson, Robert Downey, Jr's sidekick. We'll see if that one is debunked in the next couple of days, just like the Will Smith/Captain America and PSH/Penguin (both were reported not true the day after being reported).
  

Batman Casting Rumors

Ever since the record-breaking success of The Dark Knight, fans have wondered what the future of the franchise holds. Will Chris Nolan come back for a third film? Nothing has been confirmed - even the studio people haven't talked to Nolan about it because he's on a much needed vacation - but most speculate yes after the tremendous amount of cash he must have collected. Is Cher going to play Catwoman? No, but that was a real rumor about a month ago - I kid you not. And almost more ridiculous (seemingly) were the rumors about Johnny Depp as The Riddler (or the Mad Hatter, depending on who you asked) and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin.

Now Michael Caine tells MTV that he read those rumors in the tabloids like the rest of us, but that he also confirmed them with an executive at Warner Brothers.

“I was with [a Warner Bros.] executive and I said, ‘Are we going to make another one?’ They said yeah. I said, ‘How the hell are we going to top Heath? And he says ‘I’ll tell you how you top Heath — Johnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin.’ I said, ‘S–t, they’ve done it again!’”

How can this be if they haven't even confirmed that the movie is going to be made yet? There's not even a script, so how can they know that these characters are even featured? Don't take this one too seriously, ladies and gents - there seems to be way too much work to be done for casting announcements to be made already. Plus, enjoy The Dark-freaking-Knight instead of worrying about the next one already. We all know it's not going to come out for another four years anyway, and the last one was awesome.

Will Smith as Captain America?

After a couple of early rumors putting Matthew McConaghey, Leo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, and Titan from American Gladiators in contention for the role, Will Smith is the newest star to potentially suit up as Captain America in Marvel's upcoming blockbuster.

At a press junket for Spike Lee's upcoming Miracle at St. Anna, star Derek Luke said "I heard they offered Will Smith Captain America. It just shows how times have changed."

Of course, this is hearsay and still just a rumor at this point, but I'm not alone in my support for Smith as Captain America. I subconsciously associate Will Smith with America and patriotism anyway thanks to his ownage of the July 4th box office weekend, so why not go the step further and let him wield the shield? It's not like he's an incapable actor or anything - I Am Legend should have proved to his doubters that he's the black Tom Hanks. More on this as it unfolds, but what do you guys think? Could he do it? Should he do it? A black Captain America? Thoughts?

Roundup 9/6

I feel like I should have a short intro video for these Roundups, like "It's Reality Show Clip Time!" on The Soup. That'll be my first project when I get a budget. Let's wrassle up some recent movie news, shall we?

• Russell Crowe, although not attached to the Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes film as Watson, is in talks to play the hero's arch-nemesis Moriarty. Cool - sounds like Downey vs. Crowe would be a nice dynamic.

• The rumors of Spider-Man 4 and 5 being shot back to back are apparently true, and one source reports that director Sam Raimi and star Tobey Maguire are both returning for the sequels. No word on the return of The Dunst. Early speculation puts The Lizard as the main villain in the running, but I'll keep you updated with more on this as it arises.

• Denzel Washington has signed on to star in Book of Eli, a movie that sounds remarkably like I Am Legend. "In the not-so-distant future, a lone warrior fights to bring society the truth needed for its redemption." Hmm.

• There have been some legal troubles for Warner Brothers' highly anticipated Watchmen film. Apparently Fox is suing them for the right to distribute the movie, claiming that they have the rights to the movie instead of the other studio. The case is actually going to trial in January, so hopefully they can just settle it out of court and the movie will still be released in March as planned. If anything drastic happens, I'll let you know.

• There's now the possibility that School of Rock 2: School Harder won't actually happen. Fine with me, the first one was good enough without a sequel to ruin it.

• After a lot of hullaballoo, Spike Jonze's Where The Wild Things Are will be released on October 16th, 2009. I can't decide if I want to see it - there have been so many stories about it being cut down and then fixed up again. Hopefully the trailer will be a good indication, although that's not always the case.

• Steven Soderbergh's four hour Che Guevara biopic (called Che together, but The Argentine and Guerilla if separated into 2 two hour films) has been tentatively picked up by Magnolia Pictures for a US release. Benicio del Toro stars, but the only problem is that the entire thing is going to be subtitled. Early reviews say it's supposed to be a great awards contender, but I'm not sure if I can put up with four hours and twenty two minutes of subtitles. That's intense.

• A couple of the writers for "The Office" are writing a script for Ghostbusters 3, hoping to reunite the original cast. There are all kinds of theories about this one (including Judd Apatow and Co. getting involved), but I'm sure hard core fans would just be happy with a worthy story and the original cast.
  

Wow, Nice Response Time

Normally, I don't do these "follow-up" type articles (you can figure out for yourselves whether the casting rumors are true when you actually see the movies in question), but since I just wrote about this last night, I think it's warranted.

Guy Ritchie told Empire online that he has NOT found a Watson for his Sherlock Holmes movie, and it's news to him that Russell Crowe has been courted for the role. What can I say? The Sun just seems to make things up. Can I get a job with them? Sounds like a sweet deal being able to make up anything you want and publish it with no consequences.

RIP Don LaFontaine

Don LaFontaine, the voiceover guy for over 5,000 movie trailers and that one Geico commercial, died yesterday. He was 68. Complications arose from a collapsed lung, causing the death of the man with one of the coolest voices ever. He will be missed.

This year has been awful for Hollywood - Heath Ledger, Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, Don LaFontaine (and some more that I'm forgetting). Total downer.

Brothers Bloom Delayed

For those of you who care, some distressing news was announced this evening. The Brothers Bloom, which I've mentioned frequently, has been pushed back from its initial October release to a limited release in December, going wide in January of 2009. Boo.

The reason? A crowded marketplace, and a unique film that presumably would have had trouble finding an audience with the other films around it at that time. Oh well - at least it's not going straight to DVD.

Are You Not Entertained?!

Thank God - finally something worth writing about. It's been a rough couple of weeks.

Although this comes from The Sun, a source with a pretty questionable track record, it's still better than nothing. Russell Crowe is apparently interested in playing Watson in Guy Ritchie's upcoming Sherlock Holmes adaptation. If true, he would partner with Robert Downey, Jr. (starring as the titular detective) to form the Bizarro duo against Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell as Holmes and Watson in their upcoming comedic take on the same characters.

I don't know anything about Sherlock Holmes and Watson other than what was alluded to in The Great Mouse Detective, but I think it would be pretty funny for Crowe to play a bumbling sidekick (if that description is even accurate for Watson's character).

Preacher Is Dead at HBO

For years, Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon's "Preacher" (one of the best comic book series that I've ever read) has been in various stages of production, either in television or movie form. The most recent platform was TV, where Mark Steven Johnson (Daredevil, Ghost Rider) was set to helm the first few episodes. Recently, the new studio head at HBO came in and said that the material was too controversial and too violent, and wanted Johnson to redraft the material. His take was to be a faithful adaptation of the series, and he didn't want to compromise that and make a crappy show because of it. Admirable, good sir. So the series is now dead at HBO, but Johnson says he hears that someone is trying to pick up the movie rights again. Either way, it looks like we might see "Preacher" on the big or small screen after all.

Note: I don't necessarily think that "Preacher" will work in either medium. It's a comic that will blow your mind and might make religious fundamentalists very uncomfortable, but at the same time give you great respect for its well-crafted likeable characters and edgy humor. (It's also insanely violent and incredibly profane.) Regardless, I'd recommend that you read it if you're looking for something interesting, and I kind of hope that it never gets adapted into any other form.

Superman's Future A Little More Certain

Yeah, I was getting sick of that Freddy Krueger picture, too. In a painfully slow news week, it's finally time to talk about something other than direct-to-DVD sequels of Mean Girls.

Warner Brothers President Jeff Robinov spoke to The Wall Street Journal recently about the future of their planned DC comics films, specifically mentioning Superman.

"Superman [Returns] didn't quite work as a film in the way we wanted it to. It didn't position the character the way he needed to be positioned. Had Superman worked in 2006, we would have had a movie for Christmas of this year or 2009. Now the plan is to reintroduce Superman without regard to a Batman and Superman movie at all."

The reference to Batman and Superman goes back to a long-talked-about Batman Vs. Superman movie that will have to wait at least a few more years if it will ever see the inside of a theater. This quote finally ends years of speculation about the future of the Superman franchise - they are planning on a reboot of the character, similar to what happened with The Incredible Hulk earlier this year. And that's fine by me. No word yet on whether Warner Bros. is keeping Bryan Singer in the director's chair or kicking him out in favor of some new blood. I'll keep you posted.

Aside from the Man of Steel talk, Robinov also mentioned that they "have been developing every DC character that [they] own," and after the unexpectedly record-setting success of The Dark Knight, they are "going to try to go dark to the extent that the characters will allow it. Exploring the evil side to characters [is] the key to unlocking some of Warner Bros. DC properties."

Whatever, dude. If your way of cashing in on the success of TDK is making more comic book movies, then I'm all for that, too. Don't use your jargon with me. Just say you're trying to keep up with Marvel, and everyone will respect you just the same.