Roundup 12/4

I know it's been a while since I've updated this page. Here's what you need to know.

• As the Hollywood remake train continues to rape and pillage memories of good films, Romancing The Stone becomes the next victim. The original was really awesome - a treasure hunting adventure through the jungle starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner when she was still hot. Check that out if you get a free couple hours.

• Jay Baruchel (the serious soldier in Tropic Thunder) is in talks to star in a live action version of The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Disney's famous animated segment from Fantasia. Baruchel would play Mickey Mouse's character, while (get this) Nicolas Cage would play the part of the mean old wizard, this time looking for an apprentice in modern day New York. National Treasure director Jon Turtletaub will direct. Sounds interesting, and I actually think that casting with Nic Cage is spot on.

• There's a new Tarzan movie on the horizon, but it's not animated and I don't think Phil Collins has anything to do with it. This time around, they're losing the "raised by apes origin story for a 1930's set-romp" featuring a romantic subplot. This is a real quote from the article: "Think Pirates of the Carribean with buffed-and-tanned actors flying through the jungle and sprinting up trees, parkour style." I can't take this seriously at all. There's got to be a lot of precaution taken to avoid making this one of the most stupid films of the decade.

• Supposedly, there's a treatment of Speed 3 making its way through Hollywood. Nothing has been greenlit yet, but there's talk that Keanu could come back for this one after (wisely) sitting out the disastrous Speed 2: Cruise Control. If they get Keanu back and keep the Speed-related subtitles, I'm totally down with this.

• For the Shia fans out there, LaBeouf has signed on to star in the adaptation of John Grisham's (read: probably boring court stuff) upcoming book, The Associate. Sounds like pretty standard Grisham from the plot description - brilliant law student, seedy firms, guy with a secret past, blah blah blah.

• Ben Stiller is interested in Zoolander 2. Honestly, this movie is still being quoted eight years after it's release, so that probably means it's warranted this time. Whether or not it'll actually happen is a different story. ("How are we going to teach kids how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?")

• Since Neveldine/Taylor left Jonah Hex, Punisher: War Zone and Green Street Hooligans director Lexi Alexander has tossed her hat into the ring as a possible replacement. I think she'd be great - Green Street Hooligans was awesome, even if Punisher looks painfully bad. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt with Jonah Hex.

• In the latest case of people stealing our ideas, the official title for the sequel to District B13 has been released - District B13: Ultimatum. David Belle and Cyril Raffaelli (the stars of the first one) are coming back, and French action guru Luc Besson is writing the script (which should just include a lot of sweet parkour stuff). Count me in.

• Speaking of sequels, Hancock 2 is on the way. According to Will Smith, there are many unexplored characters in the Hancock universe that haven't been explored yet and we'll "definitely" be seeing a sequel in the next few years. I kind of liked the "twist" in the first one, but as is the case the most of these, I really don't think a sequel is necessary. Although it is Will Smith, so you've got to give him a little credit that he knows what he's doing. The guy is by far the most bankable actor working in Hollywood today.